Roxanne
by shabam
Summary: James Potter is in love with Lily. However, she’s got a crush on another guy. James would do anything for Lily to make her happy, including help her to get her man. **CHAPTER 4 UP**
1. Four-Eyes

**_Summary: _**_James Potter is in love with Lily. However, she's got a crush on another guy. James would do anything for Lily to make her happy, including help her to get her man._

**_Disclaimer: _**Cyrano de Bergerac _was written by Edmond Rostand, and the plot of it belongs to him. The real Cyrano belongs (or belonged, he's waaay dead now) to himself. Some of the jokes about the glasses are taken from the movie _Roxanne_. All the character's are JK's. In short, nothing's mine._

**_Author's Note: _**_This story is based on the play_ Cyrano de Bergerac_. It's a really good play, so go read it when you're finished with this fic. Anyhoo, this fic came to me in a burst of inspiration. It's going to have a happier ending than _Cyrano_, fortunately! Also, Cyrano's nose is replaced by James' glasses, if you couldn't figure that out. (I couldn't imagine a big-nosed James, so I cheated ^_^)_

_Well...R&R..._

**Roxanne**

By Lady Wildcat

Witty and clever; those were the words to describe James. He was smart, but one generally didn't see that. Certainly not handsome--although his warm brown eyes and quick smile lured some girls, his too-messy black hair and round glasses didn't add up in some girls' books. He'd only had a few girlfriends, as he was often overshadowed by his "exceedingly good-looking" (as Sirius jokingly called himself) best friend Sirius Black. Everyone loved James, however: he was too good-natured not to be.

Right now, James didn't feel loved. Some first year had just knocked him down in the halls, and after stammering apologies to the Head Boy had scurried off. James stood, brushing himself off, and looked at his watch. "Dammit," he muttered as his long legs strode down the hall. Already five minutes late for Transfiguration with the Slytherins. He pushed his hair out of the way and angrily adjusted his glasses.

His glasses. He hated them. They were cokebottle glasses; thicker than anything. They were often the first--and the last--thing a stranger noticed about James. They just couldn't seem to get past his lenses. He'd tried everything--even Muggle contacts--but nothing seemed to work. He simply could not see without them.

Bursting into the Transfiguration classroom, James was relieved to see that McGonagall wasn't there yet. He plopped down into an empty seat next to the Head Girl and his close friend, Lily Evans. "Where's McGonagall?"

"Don't know." Lily was as sweet as a person can be and just as pretty, but she had a mind like a scalpel. She and James had been friends since first year and just seemed to get closer as the years passed. Now she took out a quill and began toying with it. "We've been waiting for fifteen minutes."

"Why so late, Jamesie-poo?" a voice drawled in his ear. James turned to see Sirius, Remus, and Peter sitting behind him.

"Stupid first-year--" McGonagall swept in at that moment, and James shut up.

"So sorry I'm late, meeting with Dumbledore." The professor dumped her things onto her desk and scanned the classroom. "Miss Evans, would you please collect the homework?"

"Yes, professor." Lily got up and began gathering parchments from the Gryffindor side of the room as Professor McGonagall sorted out her teaching materials. She deposited the essays onto the professor's desk and walked over to Severus Snape, holding out her hand.

Snape yawned. "I didn't do it."

Lily's green eyes widened. "But...we've had since _last month..._"

"So?"

"Miss Evans, Mr. Snape, what's this about?" McGonagall leaned over her desk.

"Snape didn't do his essay, Professor."

Her eyes narrowed. "I'm afraid, Mr. Snape, that that essay was a major part of your grade. Twenty points from Slytherin, and see me after class. You may continue, Miss Evans." Lily nodded and walked over to the next desk.

James saw it before he registered what was happening: Snape stuck out his foot, whispered, "Tell-all," and Lily went sprawling. She looked up at the coolly smirking Snape and the giggling class, eyes filling with tears.

James stood, outraged. "Professor, Snape has unjustly taken out his aggressions on an innocent fellow student."

"How's that, Mr. Potter?"

"He tripped Lily simply for telling you that he didn't do his essay."

Snape sneered. "And how would you know?"

"I saw it happen."

"I'm sure you did, _Four-Eyes_."

Anger welled up inside of James, but instead of screaming at Snape, he turned coolly to Professor McGonagall. "Snape, obviously, is much too simple to even think up a proper mocking of my physical features, let alone a creative comeback at Lily that would not get him caught. Do you know how many times 'Four-Eyes' has been used to describe me? If Snape had been creative, he could have made the comment 'Wow! You could span the Atlantic with those!' Or perhaps, taking the nicer route, 'You must love birds to let them perch on the top of your lenses!'"

The class started to snicker; McGonagall looked amused. Snape sputtered as James went on. 

"If he were a Muggle Studies student, he could have said 'Do you need windshield wipers for those things?' Perhaps the sarcastic answer 'Ooh, what happened, did your parents lose a bet with God?' Maybe Snape could have replied with 'Can you see through walls or what?'"

Lily got up from the floor and smiled at him. James continued, slipping into his talent of the glib tongue. "He could have said a variety of things, including display of his knowledge of Greek mythology with 'Hey, look, Cyclops' cousin!', display of his fashion sense with 'You know, you could de-emphasize your glasses if you wore something larger, like France.' and display of wit with 'I think the lensmaker's ruler slipped.' He could have said 'It must be wonderful to be able to see the sunset in China!' and 'Can you see through walls or what?' Instead, he chooses the generic insult of 'Four-Eyes'. Therefore, Professor, I ask that twenty points be taken from Slytherin for tripping Lily and ten points for Snape's unoriginality!"

The Gryffindors burst into applause. McGonagall smiled wryly. "All right. Thirty points from Slytherin. And just for that speech, Mr. Potter, ten points to Gryffindor."

The Slytherins looked murderously at James, but his eyes were only on one particular girl in the room.

***

Lily sat next to James at lunch. "Thanks for sticking up for me back there."

"No problem, Lils."

"You know I wouldn't have done anything," Lily said softly. James nodded. Lily took problems sitting down, quietly bearing the brunt of them and not doing anything.

"It's okay. Hope I helped."

"You sure did. That glasses speech was bloody brilliant." She grabbed a sandwich and rose. "I'm off to the library. See you."

"Bye," James called softly, watching her retreating back. 

Over the course of the seven years that they had known each other, Lily had told James all of her secrets. Every hope, every dream, every wish of hers had been poured out to James. He, in turn, had told her almost everything about him. Almost everything. There was one secret he would never tell her.

James Potter was in love with Lily Evans. And she would never know.

**_Author's Note: _**_Hope ya like it! Press the little blue button and REVIEW!!_

_Best,_

_Lady Wildcat_


	2. Him

**_Summary:_**_ James Potter is in love with Lily. However, she's got a crush on another guy. James would do anything for Lily to make her happy, including help her to get her man._**__**

**_Disclaimer:_**_ See chapter one (aka I'm too lazy to write it out again, and I don't like repetition)._

**_Author's Note: _**_THIRTY-SIX!! THIRTY-SIX REVIEWS!! Wow, I hadn't expected this to have a big impact! Thanks sosososososososososo much for the reviews!!_

_Two nights ago at my sleepover party, my friends who shall remain unnamed *cough*Virginia and Frazier!!*cough* got very very very hyper. (I think it was a result of too many artificial cheese by-products and "censoring" the Little Mermaid.) They crept upstairs to my room, found this story open on my computer, and altered it according to their sick little minds. Plus, they SAVED it over my good one. *attacks Virginia and Frazier with a spatula* Needless to say, I kicked their asses. I combed the story verrry thoroughly and deleted all the perverted puns they put in there, but if you see something I missed (like "Moon me" instead of "Moony") please know it's a result of their delusional selves, NOT me._

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**Roxanne**

Chapter Two

By Lady Wildcat

James squinted at his Arithmancy homework, wrote a few more lines, and slammed his quill down onto the table. "There. Finished. C'mon, Moony."

"Hey! Don't leave me!" Sirius whined from the couch. "I need four more feet to this thing!"

"That's too bad," James said, stretching. "You shouldn't have written it on the couch."

"I _like _the couch." Sirius pouted at the mound of crumpled essays next to him. "It's not _my _fault that I can't write properly on my leg."

"Well, tough for you." James stood up. "Coming, Wormtail?"

Peter shook his head. "Nah. I really need to nail this essay or the professor's going to kill me, personally."

"Right. See you later." 

"Ah, screw the essay, I'm comin'." Sirius dumped his most recent attempt onto the couch and trotted to catch up with his friends. "What're we gonna do tonight?"

"I don't know." James adjusted his glasses. "What poor soul shall we proceed to torture, or, perchance, change the appearance of? I've developed a taste for sparkling hair lately...or flashing thoughts across the brows of unknowing individuals whose names just happen to be Snape and Goyle..."

"I like the sparkly hair idea--" Remus was cut off by Lily bursting into the room. Her hair was disheveled and her face flushed, but her eyes sparkled and she looked happily bewildered.

"James," she said breathlessly. "Need to talk..." She grabbed his hand and pulled him to a secluded corner of the Common Room.

"Hey! Lily, I can talk whenever, but now..."

"Shut up and listen." Lily pushed him into a chair and flopped into the opposite one.

"Lily...what the hell..."

She bit her lower lip, smiling. James loved it when she did that. "D'you really wanna know?"

"Sure..."

"I'm only telling you this because I know you'll understand. I'm not even telling any of my girlfriends. Swear you won't tell."

"Have I ever told one of your secrets?"

"Good point." She took a deep breath. "I'm in love."

To James, it seemed as if his world perched frozen for one teetering second before plunging into a downward spiral. The room seemed to get darker; his head was spinning. He heard his own voice--odd how his outer shell could function calmly while his heart was dying. "That's all well and good, Lily, but I don't know what to say. It's not as if I have any experience in romance or anything." He subconsciously fingered his glasses.

"I know, but...you're my oldest friend, and I think you should be asked for advice before anyone else."

"Okay, so who is this guy?"

"Um, his name's Chris." Her face lit when she said it; James wished she'd have that reaction when his name was said. "He's in Hufflepuff. I've only seen him in the library and in Herbology class...I don't know why I haven't noticed him before! Oh, James, he's so cute, and he seems really nice...and I saw him in the Magical Psychology section of the library, and he was looking at books, so he must be pretty smart! You know I only go for smart guys."

"Yeah." _I'm smart, Lily, but you never noticed me. _"Does he like you back?" 

Lily opened her mouth, paused, then slowly drooped. "Oh...I never thought of that..."

"It would present a problem if you wanted to have a relationship with this fellow if he did not have similar feelings for you."

All traces of a smile had vanished from Lily's face. "Oh, _no..._" Then she jumped up. "I've got it. Tomorrow we've got double Herbology with the Hufflepuffs--you can watch this guy and see if he likes me!"

"How will I know who he is?"

"I'll sit with you and point him out. Thanks, Jamesie, you're great."

"Of course I am."

***

"That's him," Lily whispered from James' right.

James followed her gaze to a boy sitting with some Hufflepuffs. He was large, tan, and muscular, with a very white smile and neatly combed blond hair. He was almost the exact opposite of tall, thin, pale James Potter with his mop of uncontrollable black hair. _So Lily's attracted to my opposite?_

"H'm. What did you say his name was again?"

"Chris. Chris Thompson."

"So, what do you want me to do? Waltz over, get down on bended knee, and proclaim your undying love?"

"No, silly. Just...watch him and see if he likes me."

Just then, Chris looked over at the table. James immediately began to focus on the instruction sheet right above Chris' table, but out of the corner of his eye he saw Lily smile and wave. Chris' eyes widened. He grinned sheepishly, waved back--and knocked over his Venomous Viper Plant.

Thousands of seedpods spilled all over the floor, emitting a slimy green poison. "EVERYONE ON YOUR TABLES!!" screamed Professor Sprout. The class quickly clambered on top of their sturdy greenhouse tables as Sprout, from her newly elevated position on her desk, preformed some complicated movements with her wand.

"So, d'you think he likes me?" Lily asked amidst the chaos.

James glanced over at Chris. The blond was staring at Lily in obvious adoration.

"Yeah, I'd say he likes you." _Damn him._

**_Author's Note: _**_I have settled on a writing schedule: one chappie of _Seven Years_, then another chappie of this fic. (I'm retiring _The Fire Inside _for now...sorry guys!) I love reviews veryveryvery much, so be sure to leave one._

_Well, until chapter 3..._

_Best,_

_Lady Wildcat_


	3. Talking

**_Summary:_**_ James Potter is in love with Lily. However, she's got a crush on another guy. James would do anything for Lily to make her happy, including help her to get her man._**__**

**_Disclaimer:_**_ Blah blah blah, you know the drill, don't sue me b/c I owe my parents $300 and am totally broke right now._

**_Author's Note: _**_Sorry for the delay, guys. As you might be able to see from my stories list, I've got several fics going at once...whaell, hope y'all like this chappie._

_Just a side note: Chris is so dumb that he makes me mess up on my punctuation in his dialogue. I'm dead serious, lol._

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**Roxanne**

Chapter Three

By Lady Wildcat

"Talk to him." 

"What?" James almost choked on his sandwich. "Me...talk to _him_?"

"Yes."

"Lily, I already scoped out whether he likes you or not, and now you want me to strike up a conversation?" He'd do it for her; he'd just like to go down with a fight. Preserve his dignity or whatnot.

"Please, James?"

He sighed and scanned the hall. There was that blond head at the Hufflepuff table, talking with friends.

"Fine," he said. "After lunch. What do you want me to say?"

"I dunno." Lily toyed with a strand of hair. "Um...guy talk. Whatever you boys do to communicate. You're a people person; push his conversation buttons." 

"Should I mention you?"  
  


She turned red. "Yes...yes, but offhandedly...just, you know, my friend Lily Evans..."

_Wish I was more than her friend. _"Right," he said, standing up. "See you."

He hung out around the entrance to the hall until he saw Chris coming out. He cleared his throat and touched Chris' arm. "Hey, uh, Chris...Thompson?"

"Yes?" Chris whirled, and baby-blue eyes met warm brown ones behind glasses. James saw his eyes stray toward his eyepieces—and stay there. 

James, however, was more than used to this reaction by now. "Aren't you on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team, Chris?" 

"Yeah. I'm Beater." Then his eyes widened. "Oh, _man_, aren't you James Potter, Chaser on the Gryffindor team? Oh, and Head Boy?"

"Yes, that's me."

"Man, I was watching that last match between Ravenclaw and you guys the other day...the moves you were pulling up there, just _sweet_, man!"

"Uh, thanks...you know, my friend Lily was watching, and—"

"Lily?" Chris' mouth dropped open. "As in Lily Evans?"

"Yes, she's one of my best friends."

"Oh, man, oh _man_." Chris stuck his hands in his pockets and started to rock back and forth on his feet. "Lily Evans. Lily _Evans._ One of _your _best friends...you are _so _lucky."

_You're luckier. She loves you back._

"Tell me," Chris said, leaning forward, "has she ever mentioned me, ever? 'Cos, I saw her smiling at me in Herbology, and you know, I think she's kinda hot."

"Now that you've mentioned it, she's said your name once or twice..." Chris looked overjoyed by this last statement. And as much as James was jealous of the guy, he decided to tell the truth. "Actually, you know what? She sent me out here to talk to you."

"Really?"

"Yes, I think she likes you."

"_Really?_"

"She actually did tell me she likes you."

"REALLY?"

"She really loves you."

"Oh, _man!_" Chris was practically dancing. "She _said _that? Really?"

"Yeah. She's head over heels for you. She thinks you're really handsome, funny, smart—"

"Smart?" Chris' face fell. "What? How'd she get that idea?"

"She saw you looking at some Magical Psychology books in the library one day. She really goes for smart guys."

"Oh, no." Chris wrung his hands. "Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no..." Even though he had only met James moments before, he grabbed his robe front and shook him. "Oh, no, Potter, I'm not smart at all! Not smart! The only reason I was looking at those books was to find a note my ex hid in there!"

"Your ex?" James put his hands on Chris' wrists to stop him from shaking his robes. "Why did your ex hide a note in a Magical Psychology book?"

"Well...she was from a different house, and she kinda wasn't the person I normally would date, and vice versa, so we figured that no one ever looks in those books—I mean, who would?—so we hid notes to each other in them."

"Oh." James didn't bother to tell Chris that he and Lily had taken an interest in Magical Psychology in fifth year.

"We broke up a couple of days ago. She went back to her old boyfriend. I was kinda down when I first saw Lily. But, oh, man, Potter—" he rubbed his forehead "—as soon as she talks to me she'll know I'm not smart! And I get really nervous around girls I like."

"How nervous?"

"Well, like..." Chris gulped. "See, I've never been real good with words, but when I'm with the guys, it doesn't matter...but man, when I'm around girls, my tongue gets all tied up, and I can't really talk, and I say real stupid things..."

"That does present somewhat of a problem."

"Yeah...wait!" Chris grinned excitedly. "You can be my words!"

"_What?_"

"Come on, you're the best Transfig student in the whole school, and McGonagall says people who are good with words are good in her class, and you did a great job on that Prefect speech last year, and you're comfortable with Lily and know what she likes...please? We can rig up something where you can tell me what to say, and only I can hear it! Like, with our wands! Please?"

"I don't know..." Then James saw Lily's face. And her expression when she found out Chris wasn't who she thought he was. She'd be devastated.

Being Chris' voice would give him an opportunity to say things to Lily he could never dream of saying to her normally. To finally spill what he felt about her—only through the voice of another.

To tell her he loved her.

James sighed. "Okay. I'll do it."

**_Author's Note: _**_Yay, another chapter, review review!_

_Best,_

_Lady Wildcat_


	4. First Date

**_Summary:_**_ James Potter is in love with Lily. However, she's got a crush on another guy. James would do anything for Lily to make her happy, including help her to get her man._**__**

**_Disclaimer:_**_ Nothing is mine. Nope. Nada. Zippo. It is_ fanfiction, _after all!_

**_Author's Note: _**_Meep. Me bad author. I have just woken up from a long ficless sleep and have been making apologies in the author's notes of all my stories. To hear me grovel some more, go check my other fics out. But I'm SO sorry for the lack of updates!!_

_Oh, and I'd just like to say that this fic has an _average _of **32 REVIEWS **__per chapter!!! That is WONDERFUL!!! I love you guys. Keep up the plentiful reviews!!!_

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**Roxanne**

Chapter Four

By Lady Wildcat

James groaned. Sirius had used all the hot water again. Wrapping a towel around himself ((A/N: ooh, James in nothing but a towel...sorry)), he stepped back into the dorm. "Sirius, you used up the hot water."

Sirius, sitting on his bed in his candy-striped pajamas and fuzzy blue slippers (a secret with which his dormmates had been threatened with bodily harm if they let it slip), grinned. "Sorry, Jamesie. Try a charm."

"I stink at them, you do it."

Sirius pointed his wand towards the bathroom and said the water-heating charm. James felt his way back towards the shower (his glasses were sitting on top of his clothes in the bathroom) and, sure enough, the water was steaming hot.

He stepped into the shower and squirted Millicent's Magical Shampoo for Men into his crazy black hair. Chris' first date with Lily had inconveniently come after a particularly muddy Quidditch practice, and he didn't want Lily to see a trail of mud leading to his hiding place.

James rinsed the soap out and turned off the shower. He groped for his glasses and tapped them with his wand to get the steam off. The steamless mirror was clear as always—he'd really have to get Lily to charm his glasses in the same way.

Her name reminded him of what he was about to do. He pulled on some clean Muggle khakis and a thick green sweater. He borrowed Sirius' comb and attempted to flatten out his hair, wincing at his reflection. 

Suddenly, instead of himself in the mirror, he saw Chris—burly, handsome, blond Chris. Chris was smiling, his teeth immaculately white. James touched the mirror, and Chris disappeared to be replaced by tall, skinny Potter, comb stuck in his black hair.

Shaking the image of Chris out of his head and pulling the comb out, James hung up the towel and left the bathroom.

Sirius looked up. "Goin' on that Lily thing?"

"Yeah."

"Is this with that guy Chris?" asked Remus from his bed, where he was reading.

"Uhuh." 

Sirius gave James a glance. He was the only one out of the Marauders who really knew James' feelings for Lily. "You okay with this?"

"Padfoot, I can't let the guy down."

"Why can't he go on a date himself?" Peter set down his quill. "Seems t'me that he should win Lily over on his own."

"Yeah," answered Frank Longbottom, the other member of the seventh year Gryffindor boys. "He better be thanking you for this when he's through."

"I'll make sure of that." 

James picked up his wand and left the dormitory. He was about to leap down the stairs when he noticed a flash of red hair disappearing into the girls' dorms. "Lily?"

"Aack!" Her head poked out the door. "Oh, God, James, it's you."

"Yes. Ready to go?"

"No, but I suppose I could try to be." She looked around nervously. "Listen, James..."

"Mhm?"

"Look--pretend for a sec that you're not my best friend and that you're attracted to me, okay? I need a male opinion."

"Okay." 

She stepped out of the door. She was wearing a black skirt and white blouse, with her copper-colored hair tumbling down loosely around her shoulders. "How do I look?"

She was gorgeous to James, as usual. "Great. You look spectacular."

"Really? You're not just saying that?"

"Lily," he said gently, putting his hands on her shoulders, "if I weren't your best friend, I would ask you out in a heartbeat."

Which was completely true.

"Oh, you're so sweet." She took a deep breath. "Right. I think I'm ready now."

"Would you like an escort, Lady?" He held out his arm and bowed.

She laughed and put her arm in his. "Thank you, Sir James."

***

Chris was waiting in the garden for them. He was inspecting a rosebush when Lily and James arrived, still arm-in-arm. "Hey, Chris," said James.

Lily's date started nervously and turned, knocking over a garden bench in the process. "Hi, uh--whoops," he said as the bench careened onto the grassy path. He hastened to pick it up, and James lent a hand. "Thanks, James." Then Chris looked past James, his jaw dropping as he saw Lily.

"Hi, Lily," he began. "You look--uh, well, see, you look, um..."

"Stunning," whispered James. No reason not to start the process now. 

"Stunning," finished Chris. "Really, really, really stunningly stunning. Uh, I mean--"

"Chris, enough," James growled lowly. He turned to Lily. "Well, I'll be off. I've got some _Arithmancy homework _to finish." He walked behind Lily, squeezed her shoulders, and nodded meaningfully at Chris, so he'd know what they were talking about.

"Oh, _right,_" supplied Chris. "_Arithmancy_ homework. Gotcha. Arithmancy, okay--" He stopped at James' subtle "Cut it" motion. "Well, have, um, fun."

"Thanks." James sauntered off leisurely down the path. Then, as he was just out of the couple's sight, he ducked into a nearby juniper bush.

Unfortunately, the juniper itched like hell. But he tried to ignore that as he said the spell that got him inside Chris' hearing. 

"Well, Chris," he heard Lily say faintly, "why don't we sit on the bench and talk."

"Uh, uh..."

"Say okay," James hissed into his wand.  
  


"James?" Chris said quizzically.

"James isn't here," said Lily, puzzled.

God. What an idiot the guy was. "Chris, listen to me. This is James, inside your hearing. Remember? We planned this out? Yesterday? This is so I can supply you with things to say to Lily."

There was a pause. "Oh. Right," said Chris.

"Chris, who are you talking to?" Lily seemed even more confused.

"Chris, Lily can't hear me. Now, sit down on the bench."

"Uh, okay. I'm not talking to anyone, Lily." There was a creaking of wood as Chris and Lily sat down, and a short silence.

"Right," said James. "So far okay. Now, say something about the night being beautiful."

"Uh, the night is really, uh, you know, beautiful."

"It really is," replied Lily.

"Now say how gorgeous the moon is."

"And the moon, it's, um, real gorgeous."

"Now say how Lily's like the moon."

"Yeah, and Lily, you're like the moon. You know, you're gorgeous and all. But you're not made of cheese."

Pause. "Um...thank you?" said Lily tentatively.

James rubbed his forehead. It was going to be a long first date.

**_Author's Note: _**_Hee. I love making Chris dumb. Makes James seem smarter. Anyway, sorry again for the lack of updates, and I'll re-rent _Roxanne _and check out _Cyrano _so I can do the famous, sappy, James-is-so-wonderful-and-romantic-and-self-sacrificing balcony speech._

_Best,_

_Lady Wildcat_


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